"....Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure.Ours is an entertainment seeking-nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one....This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype- the overstressed executive who goes on vacation, but who cannot relax."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia)

I have been reading Eat, Pray, Love, which I bought at JFK during my grossly long layover. Reading it last night, the author's experience almost perfectly matched up with mine, as she fought lonelinessin a far away place, traveling all alone (She was told to "embrace" it, to experience loneliness as a normal human emotion). Another battle she had was trying to find full pleasure while in Italy, perhaps the world capital of pleasure of food, sensuality and beauty. Culturally, I don't think Americans naturally contain the capacity for experiencing this in the same way that Italians do, and I was faced with this yesterday as I explored Dun Laoghaire for hours on end. Waiting for a call about my internship, I literally had the entire day to do anything I wanted. But what the hell do I want to do??! I don't know when the last time I even had the option of asking this question was, and today I am faced with it again. This is the same situation Elizabeth was in during the few chapters I read last night, and while we were both a bit scared of having to answer this question, it is REALLY REALLY nice to try to answer :)

Yesterday I left the hostel and just started walking, going first to Penney's, a clothing store that kick's Forever 21's butt. I bought 2 shirts, a necklace and some oxfords (finally!!) for €19.50 (roughly $24). Then I walked around a mall, bought a few groceries at Tesco, ate a delicious brie and tomato sandwich and spent a couple of hours walking the pier, people watching, eating ice cream (it is somehow different here, I think it tastes a lot better) and sitting by the sea. Just sitting. I had a pint with one of my intern buddies and received a call at about 8:30 saying I am going to be interning for the company I really wanted to intern for (yay!! finally!!)! What started as a tired, sleepless morning ending up being a really great and relaxing day, but I had to work really hard for it and had to fight the anxiety ofuncertainty and loneliness.

The truth is, I don't mind being alone, I am just not used to it, even after living alone for a year at school. I am paying a LOT of money to be here, and I will be working a LOT of hours at my new internship, because they are launching a new project. This is my last week of summer off, and I need to experience all of the best this country has to offer without feeling GUILTY, which is the hardest for me.

Anyway, it is sunny again today, everybody here keeps saying how amazing the weather is. I think I am going to hop on a bus to Dalkey and just see where the day brings me. Maybe bring a copy of Eat, Sleep, Love, which I think everyone should read. I am only about 75 pages in, I think reading a book a little at a time is a luxury, but maybe that's because I just graduated college :p. Here are some pictures from my day yesterday. There was a moment on the pier yesterday where I realized, "I like this, I like spending time with me". That was a big step in my trip :) I miss you all dearly (clearly, if you read this)! Wish you were here!

"The more exquisitely and delightfully you can do nothing, the higher your life's achievement."